So. In the past, I’ve tried a couple times to get myself in to see a psychologist or whatever. The nature of the problem makes the prospect a bit scary, and thus difficulties along the way have lead very quickly to discouragement and failure. From finding someone on my health plan to dodging idiot “primary” doctors, to…
Well, here’s an example. Recently I came into contact with a shrink (“Norman”) through somebody I know. For various reasons I wasn’t going to see this one directly, but I figured that rather than pick of my insurance provider list randomly, this guy might take a look and see if he can recommend anyone.
I send him the list. He emails me with a recommendation for a guy on the list — Doctor D let’s call him. I call Dr. D’s number. Disconnected. Huh. That’s encouraging. I go on Google and find contact info for him. That also is wrong. No good. A bit of further digging and I find the man’s web site, and he’s in a location that is pretty far afield for me — he moved several towns over from his old location. Crap. I call him anyway. Voicemail. I leave a message — potential new patient.
In the meantime, back to Dr. Norm. I drop him an email explaining the difficulty and asking if there’s anyone else on that list he could suggest.
Time passes. Another email. A phone message.
Weeks later I actually reach Dr. Norm again, and the short answer is “No”, he has no other suggestions but to just pick one. Gee, Doc, couldn’t you have just picked up the damned phone and called me rather that leaving me hanging for weeks for that? Whatever.
In the meantime, Dr. D never did call me or contact me in any way. Is this some kind of trend with shrinks to not actually communicate? The irony would be funny if I weren’t so disgusted. Whatever. Fuck ‘em.
Personally, if I were in that profession I would realize that even the first contact is difficult for someone having problems, and make sure to get back to anyone who contacted me. Quickly.
i guess that’s why I don’t make the big bucks.
That was very inconsiderate of “Norman” and possibly against the rules. There are some pretty strict laws and rules laid out by the American Psychological Association which psychologists have to follow in order to remain licensed ranging from obvious things like not being allowed to date patients and maintaining certain confidentiality requirements to being required to inform people who have the appearance of a mental disorder that they might have a mental disorder. The next things I have to say are not to discourage you but because I hope it will make you better prepared, which will help you maintain your motivation to find a psychologist:
Not every psychologist will be a compatible fit for you, so you may need to speak with several before you feel you have found a good fit. I’m not saying that solely because you are gifted, but also because compatibility comes into play when searching for a psychologist.
If it were me, I would prepare for this by making important distinctions between what I need and what I want to avoid and I’d think up some questions to ask on the phone or during the initial visit. I would also keep a few backup referrals on hand, to help keep me feeling open-minded, and so I would have the comfort of knowing that there is always someone else to call. We are taught to think of doctors like parents – as if we don’t have the right to choose. In reality, we pay their bills and you have the right to shop around all you want or even change doctors on a whim.
The same deal is true with a psychologist’s prescriptions. Sometimes the first one works very well, sometimes the patient has to try dozens before anything works right. I don’t know if they are going to prescribe you anything but I thought I should mention it.
Finding a psychologist who is gifted-friendly may be a bit of a quest. But the upside of that is once you’ve got one, you will finally have what you need and if you want one later on, you won’t have to look again.
Also, please post a referral once you’ve found someone who has experience with gifted people. I would like to keep someone on hand.
You know what, I bet you psychologists and/or doctors have some kind of rule that says “If a person comes to you who is in URGENT need of care you are not allowed to ignore them.” I would check the laws in your area (Here’s a search term: “laws governing psychology practice”) for the wording. Then you can use the keywords that will trigger them.
I would be careful not to make it sound more dire than is accurate to your situation, though, as they may also be required to treat certain things as an emergency, which could potentially end you up in the mental ward.
I believe that you are totally justified in telling them that you have an urgent need, and you are also totally justified in reminding them of the fact that they have to follow any laws relating to that if they ignore you or take too long.
If you have to light a fire under their asses to get a response, do it!
Norman is not my doctor; he’s an acquaintance. As such I doubt there’s any claim for official action against him (nor should there be.) Inconsiderate? Yes. Illegal? No.
But Norman is a shrink. If he’s a licensed psychologist he has to play by certain rules. He probably swore an oath that included something along the lines of “I will not ignore people in need”. I don’t know the exact laws but you can always look them up if interested.