Drove the night toward my home
The place that I was born, on the lakeside
As daylight broke, I saw the earth
The trees had burned down to the ground
“Don’t Give Up”
I am afraid.
I am old.
I am losing.
I am dying.
I… don’t know.
I am very very tired.
What is left? I can’t make friends. My family is falling away. My marriage is a dead end that I am too afraid to exit. Friendships— the few that remain— are strained. And I can’t tell anyone WHY. I vent to the wide world, and am forced to push away the people who are drawn to my guttering flame. Danger. This site itself is dangerous. I am exposed. I am vulnerable and in a place where the smallest push could….
Every relationship I have feels like a danger to me. Nowhere to go but inward, where the pressure is already crushing.
This is not a good day.